III - Castiel Speaks

You know, I've been here

for a very long time.

And I remember many things. 

I remember being at a shoreline, 

watching a little grey fish 

heave itself up on the beach 

and an older brother saying,

"Don't step on that fish, Castiel. Big plans for that fish." 

I remember the Tower of Babel

All 37 feet of it, which I suppose 

was impressive at the time. 

And when it fell, they howled 'divine wrath'. 

But come on - dried dung can only be stacked so high.

I remember Cain and Abel,

David and Goliath,

Sodom and Gomorrah.

And, of course, 

I remember the most remarkable event;

remarkable because it never came to pass.

It was averted by two boys, 

an old drunk

and a fallen angel. 

The grand story. 

And we ripped up 

the ending and the rules

and destiny

leaving nothing 

but freedom and choice. 

Which is all well and good, except 

What if I've made the wrong choice? 

How am I supposed to know?

I'm getting ahead of myself. 

I consider myself the Winchesters' guardian

They taught me how to stand up

What to stand for

And what generally happens 

to you when you do.

I had no choice

I did it to protect the boys

Or to protect myself

I don't know anymore.

If I knew then what I know now.

I might have said.

It's simple.

Freedom is a length of rope.

God wants you to hang yourself with it.

So I went to an old friend for help

But watching him

I stopped

Everything he sacrificed, 

and I was about to ask him 

for more.

And so went

the long road of good intentions

The road that brought me here.

That's everything.

I believe it's what you would call

a tragedy from the human perspective.

But maybe the human perspective is limited.

I don't know.

That's why I'm asking you, Father.

One last time.

Am I doing the right thing?

Am I on the right path?

You have to tell me.

You have to give me a sign

Because if you don't,

I'm gonna do whatever I must.